RIP Aaliyah

I remember when Aaliyah passed away. I was getting ready for work at a coffee shop. At the time, my father delivered the newspaper. When he got home, he was on his cell phone with my mother. She was living in Jackson at the time. I walked into the living room and sat down and he dropped the newspaper in front of me. On the bottom right was the headline "R&B star and actress Aaliyah Haughton died in plane crash". I couldn't move. I just kept looking at the headline and then at her picture and back to the headline. It was so surreal that I didn't even believe it. I went into my bedroom and turned on the news. MTV had Aaliyah's friends crying and talking about her life and along the bottom of the screen was that she had in fact passed away. I turned to BET and they were running the time when she was on 106 & Park. They had on slow mo with Boys II Men playing "One Sweet Day". They shown her picture and 1979-2001. That is when I broke down. I cried and cried. For those who know me, I don't cry. I haven't cried during any personal funerals at all. I just don't cry. Her death crippled me literally. It was as if I had lost a sister or a best friend. Aaliyah to me was that older sister. Whenever I was trying to make a decision or felt a certain emotion, her songs helped me through them. I was a singer and dancer. I memorized all of her songs and dance videos. I've sang Aaliyah's songs in just about every talent show I've done. So I eventually pulled myself together and went to work. Ironically, I was working with a female who I talked to all the time about music. She and I talked about Aaliyah all day. That day just hurt me deep.

There is a song that I constantly played during that time and it was "I Care For U" by Aaliyah. When I first heard it, it was during her Behind the Music. I heard it and it was so haunting.

Hey my baby. Tell me why you cry. Here, take my hand and wipe those tears from your eyes. Can I talk to you? Comfort you? Let you know...I care for you.

I played that song over and over and over. I just couldn't believe that she was gone just like that. Just gone. She had just made the "Rock the Boat" video and I remember watching the making of it. I kept asking myself I just saw her/how is she gone? During an interview, Fatima had said the same thing...she just waved to these people, told them she loved them and then.... The crazy part is that the end of the "Rock the Boat" video, Aaliyah's swimming in the water and she's going up to the top. The water is so clear that you see the sky and the clouds and the sun is shining down on her. I'm not religious at all but watching it after her passing, all I could think of was she was an angel going to heaven because it really looks like it.

Aaliyah and her music will forever be my heart. She is gone but never forgotten. RIP girl...