I remember when Aaliyah passed away. I was getting ready for work at a coffee shop. At the time, my father delivered the newspaper. When he got home, he was on his cell phone with my mother. She was living in Jackson at the time. I walked into the living room and sat down and he dropped the newspaper in front of me. On the bottom right was the headline "R&B star and actress Aaliyah Haughton died in plane crash". I couldn't move. I just kept looking at the headline and then at her picture and back to the headline. It was so surreal that I didn't even believe it. I went into my bedroom and turned on the news. MTV had Aaliyah's friends crying and talking about her life and along the bottom of the screen was that she had in fact passed away. I turned to BET and they were running the time when she was on 106 & Park. They had on slow mo with Boys II Men playing "One Sweet Day". They shown her picture and 1979-2001. That is when I broke down. I cried and cried. For those who know me, I don't cry. I haven't cried during any personal funerals at all. I just don't cry. Her death crippled me literally. It was as if I had lost a sister or a best friend. Aaliyah to me was that older sister. Whenever I was trying to make a decision or felt a certain emotion, her songs helped me through them. I was a singer and dancer. I memorized all of her songs and dance videos. I've sang Aaliyah's songs in just about every talent show I've done. So I eventually pulled myself together and went to work. Ironically, I was working with a female who I talked to all the time about music. She and I talked about Aaliyah all day. That day just hurt me deep.
There is a song that I constantly played during that time and it was "I Care For U" by Aaliyah. When I first heard it, it was during her Behind the Music. I heard it and it was so haunting.
Hey my baby. Tell me why you cry. Here, take my hand and wipe those tears from your eyes. Can I talk to you? Comfort you? Let you know...I care for you.
I played that song over and over and over. I just couldn't believe that she was gone just like that. Just gone. She had just made the "Rock the Boat" video and I remember watching the making of it. I kept asking myself I just saw her/how is she gone? During an interview, Fatima had said the same thing...she just waved to these people, told them she loved them and then.... The crazy part is that the end of the "Rock the Boat" video, Aaliyah's swimming in the water and she's going up to the top. The water is so clear that you see the sky and the clouds and the sun is shining down on her. I'm not religious at all but watching it after her passing, all I could think of was she was an angel going to heaven because it really looks like it.
Aaliyah and her music will forever be my heart. She is gone but never forgotten. RIP girl...
`Music and writing has always been consistent in my life. I could always find a song or a lyric that would represent what I was feeling or thinking about at the time. It didn’t matter if it was sadness, lust, anger and greed-I could find a singer that felt the same and expressed it through song. One thing I’m learning and growing with each day is empowerment. I feel empowered every time I speak the words I love you to someone because I’m opening my heart to them. When I say it, it’s a big deal. I feel empowered when I dismiss something in my life that I know is bad for me. I feel lighter with each load of stress lifting off my shoulders. I feel empowered through my family, my writing and songs. I listen to certain songs that when I hear them, they make me smile and feel joy in my soul. Here is my list of songs of empowerment.
1st is “U.N.I.T.Y.” by Queen Latifah, the jazzy hip hop jam that became an anthem for women. The lyrics are powerful that provokes an emotion that for awhile, women were not hearing a man calling them a bitch. Queen Latifah reminded us as women that we can be strong, beautiful and sincere without it being taken as too assertive, arrogant, or too outspoken. Queen Latifah has always demanded respect with a quiet whisper over a sultry jazz tune or a pounding hip hop beat. All Hail the Queen!
2ndis “A Rose is still a Rose” by Aretha Franklin and Lauryn Hill. Up until then, I only knew of Aretha as the woman who asked for “R.E.S.P.E.CT”. That song in itself is a symbol of strength. I would like to think that “A Rose is still a Rose” is the next generation version of asking for respect. To be told that you don’t have to lay with this man and that man to get what you want is needed on the radio. Aretha Franklin is not only the Queen of Soul but she’s like every woman’s godmother who can sing. I remember telling my boyfriend at the time that “I’m still a flower and I hold the power”. That is forever imprinted on my soul.
3rdis “Sista” by Rachelle Farrell. When I first heard this, it made me think of a something Tyra Banks. She said one thing that we as women do is instantly hate on another woman the second she walks into the room. It doesn’t matter if it’s her hair, her man, her clothes/shoes, money—it doesn’t matter, we can find something we don’t like and frown or say something about her. One thing I’ve done and try to do every day is not only uplift my people but another woman. I will admit that I don’t have many female friends for that reason-hating, but at the same time, I do try to praise a woman for taking care of her business. Whenever I meet other writers or poets, I can’t look at them for being more successful or have written more books than me. It just means I have to work harder but at the same time, be happy that someone else is living their dream. “Sista” is a great song for a mother, sister, aunt, grandmother, and best friend. This song is something to hear when you’re just hanging out with your girls and everything is cool.
4this “Me” by Tamia. This song is empowering in more ways than one. She’s talking about leaving a man because he’s not doing her right. She needs to take care of herself and only herself. This can heard when having problems at work, rollercoaster relationship with a boyfriend or best friend or even a family member. “And to choose between you two, boy you know If I have to choose, I choose me…”basically says there’s only one person that needs to be number one and empowerment begins with one first before the masses.
5this “Hate on Me” by Jill Scott. When I first heard this, I immediately started dancing and humming a long with Jill. I love her as an artist and the way she expresses herself through song. When this came out, she hadn’t released anything for a minute and that, in itself made it explode even more. She said “...You cannot hate on me cuz’ my mind is free”. That is very powerful statement for any woman, no matter how young and old. This song is fully of empowerment because it allows you to believe in yourself.
Every day, there is a woman watching a talk show, reading a book or talking to friends about self-esteem. When you need a song to fill you with empowerment and confidence, listen to the songs on this list and feel inspired. Feel beautiful, confident to song!
I saw something disturbing today and had to say something. I understand that each and every person can live their life the way they want to. If they are over the age of 18, they are considered an adult and responsible for their actions. Having said that, I see a lot of people who are technicallyan adult but their minds and bodies have not caught up with that at all. Case in point, I saw some pictures on the net today that made me question the minds of some people. They were pictures of women who made it clear that they did not care about themselves and their families. I say that because these pictures are on the net. Could they have stopped someone taking the picture-no but if they weren't acting the way they were, there wouldn't be a picture. I don't understand when some women feel like they wouldn't be labeled for the things they do. Taking care of your kids is great but if you're nine months pregnant with a half shirt on, doing a dance on a man in the middle of the street that resembles HOW you got pregnant leaves a deeper impression. If you're going to school to better yourself, that is wonderful. But if you come to an interview wearing a wife beater, some sweatpants and answering your phone DURING the interview, where does it show that you're going to school and getting an education? I applaud all women and the ones who are taking care of their business, I tip my hat to you. But if you're posing half naked in your baby's room and posting it on the internet, all I want to do is ask why? Why? Why do some women think they are invisible or that they will be respected simply because they ask for it? The world is harsh and with cell phones and the internet, your face can be plastered everywhere and you might not even know it. The ones who do know and don't give a damn, all I can say is karma is bi*** and one day, it'll come back.
To my brothers...I meet and see so many men that seem to be clueless to what is really on. First off, why is so hard for some to wear a condom? Maury will always be on television because there will always be women sleeping with multiple men and the multiple men not wearing condoms? It's your life. You can sleep around until your penis falls off but is that what it's going to take? You wake up one morning, go to the bathroom and all you hear is a big splash because it just fell into the toilet? Why wouldn't men have if not respect for the woman, respect for themselves? We may not want to admit it but men and women know when it's just sex. If it's just sex and you know it, WEAR A CONDOM!You know that you do not want this woman to have your child, wear a condom. What's the problem? If a man can spend hundreds on rims, clothes and weed (some), they can buy some condoms. Second, just as I mentioned a female applicant walking into the interview with a wife beater on, I've interviewed several men who thought a white tee and some jean shorts was cool. I've even had a guy flirt and then when I kept it professional, he got pissed. I know some females do that. It's not right for either one. But, men, you are asking for a job. You are asking the person that is sitting in front of you to help you pay your bills. Why not come correct? I don't understand the logic of playing ball, leaving the court and going straight to the interview with just a splash of Chocolate Axe spray. Come on! What makes things so bad is these men and women that I speak of, they are really serious about what they are doing and do not see anything wrong with it. People, you have to respect yourself FIRST because if not, it will not only show but no one else will respect you. You have to be conscious of what you are doing and be on your A game all the time. I'm no different. I'm a writer. At any opportunity, I try to post my work and pictures every where. I will not put myself in a position to where I do some thing careless and stupid that would damage anything I've done. I'm not perfect by any means but what is wrong with respecting yourself and holding yourself higher than any and everything? Try it. It just might work.
Back in junior high and high school, I sang. I sang with choirs, talent shows, around the house, to anyone that would listen. I loved to sing and on occasion, still do. I can still hold a tune. It seems like to be a rapper or a singer these days, I need to be able to sing, should try to dabble in acting and/or have my own reality show. After I do that for at least a year, I need to form my own production company and find a few people who are just like me and sign them as artists. I need to turn some water and flowers into my own fragrance. I need to find some straps of clothing and form my own fashion line. Does all this sound familiar? It should because everyone is doing it. Just about every perfume and cologne out today is by an artist. The majority of reality shows are of celebrities or people who hang with celebrities or people who think they're celebrities. You see singers and rappers in movies and television shows. I must say that I understand you have to multitask. I understand that someone should not only sing but she should be able to dance and/or write her own songs and do something for their community. I understand that being a triple threat is important. But...everyone has their own record label. Everyone has a fragrance. Everyone has or is about to start a clothing line. I've noticed that during the last couple years, artists have been opening clubs and restaurants. Clubs and food establishments, like everything is a hit or miss type of thing. Can someone, anyone do something else? Anything else? Can we see artists with building contracts and construction companies? Build schools and programs for children to go from pre-school to college. What about after school programs? Why isn't that a trend? What does it mean to dress, smell and listen to your favorite artists if you're not dressing for interview to be successful or smelling a five course meal that you cooked in your own home or listening to your name being announced at your graduation? Does it really matter? I can't blame any artist because it's not their job to make a child go to school, finish and go to college but we all agree that they have major influence. Everyone wouldn't be starting their own fashion lines and own record labels if the last five artists didn't do it. So I can't place blame on anyone but I think that in order for our community to grow, we need to stop spending money and start building our money and security. We need to educate ourselves and learn everything behind the scenes so that we can be successful on the front lines. Just an idea.
I'm a daughter and older sister of one brother. I've been a writer for over 10 years but a published author for four years. I love to meet people and listen to their stories.
