Thanksgiving....to me

Thanksgiving 2009 for me....Indianapolis weather has the typical cool breeze. Leaves are still on the ground and the smell of food is floating in the air. I'm at my father's house now and will be here probably for the remainder of the day. I'm going to watch some cable, use up some internet and eat until I can't take it no more. I have fond memories of Thanksgiving as a child. Helping my father peel potatoes, learning the right way to make mac and cheese from my mother, trying chitlins for the first time (very interesting!) and spending time with family. I never cared for the whole dinner with the Pilgrims and the Indians. Even as a kid, all that meant to me was the Pilgrims filled their stomachs up before the killing. That whole "happy go lucky" picture that they fed us in school was BS to me. Now at 26, I still feel the same. I celebrate families getting together. I know of some families that only meet during the holidays. Not everyone is close to their families so if this is a way to bring them together, I'm all for it. Now, along with quality time with family, I've been gaining knowledge too. I've been finding Native American quotes, proverbs and words of wisdom. One of my Twitter friends @ciciwryter said that there is more to eating. That we need to stay aware. I hope that people do make themselves aware of Native American history. Read about the beauty of their culture, their history, and their people. Don't just eat. Read. Research. Learn.

Check out http://www.legendsofamerica.com/NA-Proverbs.html for quotes and proverbs. Enjoy!

Back into it....(sigh!)

I went back to the gym today. It's been a year and a half and my original starting date was August 1st. Well, three months later and here I am. I found my old membership badge, a sports bra, some workout clothes and I was off. Thanks to my mother for getting me a IPOD Touch. Going to gym without music is horrible for me. If I can speed up or slow down to the tunes in my ears, insecurities begin to sink in and take over. My eyes begin to wander. To the left: This girl obviously doesn't need to be working out. She looks like Beyonce. She's just taking up space. Damn, why can't I look like that? To the right: I hope this man sweating profusely doesn't have a heart attack. Then of course when I look up as I have Janet Jackson blaring in my ear, the TVs has the Today show on and of course they are featuring favorite Thanksgiving recipes. I will admit that I have gone insane for choosing this weeks of all weeks to go back to the gym. How I see though is that this week is motivation. In fact the next couple of months is motivation for me along with harming images that I keep replaying in my head. I need to keep it up and stay motivated. Why? I am getting married (sarcastic Yayy!) and all I keep seeing is disaster in a dress and being upset. So it's time for me to work out, eat right, and do as much as I can before the big day. When is the big day? Not until April 9 2011 but still...2010 is just around the corner. Before I know it, I'll be hearing "Ma'am, can you suck in just a little bit more? We still need to squeeze in one more roll!" Oohhhhhh myyyyy goodnesss! I am not the one! Wish me luck folks.

Beauty within

My beauty has been caught in words & photos.

Behind bars, held hostage from me during my lows.

But now I've found the key and let it free.

Can you see me?

(c) Cassandra Daniels 2009

Blackness

I feel my blackness through my veins
from the tightness of those slavery chains
from the southern trees that grew strange fruit
that ripped at our souls that came straight from the root
I feel my blackness through the joy of freedom from Lincoln
but he didn't free us for the right reasons
he wanted us to rebuild a country that didn't love us so he gave us hope and released our chains
replaced then with laws
that made us feel drained
We couldn't choose our destinies
discover our identities but we still had to love this country
Marcus Garvey came on the scene
with his speeches and poems
of 'back to Africa' journeys
"find out the truth and you will be free"
but to many of us, hostages or not, this was all we knew and this is our truth
Now it's the 20s and Harlem is alive
with poetry and art that stimulates our minds
with dancing and singing
we're having a good time
we're holding our heads up and lifting our voices
loving each other and making our own choices
Times are hard but we will survive
This rebirth of black love kept us alive
I feel my blackness
through the beginning of Jim Crow
We're losing control of what we have
and it made us feel low
I feel my blackness
through the increasing
of lynchings and beatings
and misleadings
They're taking away our air before we can breathe it
blinding our eyes before we really can see it
closing our mouths and tearing our hearts where we couldn't say anything
or feel anything
It's now WWII
we're fighting on the front lines
we're making ourselves strong
imprinting our faces onto their minds
we should be welcomed with open arms
be respected with smiles and many praises
Times have changed and should be for the better
but even after all that, it's still stormy weather
Now we're thinking
"maybe they'll understand
we're all men and we've earned this right
we should be able to open our eyes when it's day and sleep well at night"
It's now the civil rights movement
Rosa Parks sat down
Dr. King stood up
Malcolm is making us feel our blackness
Black is black
a strength, not a weakness
Then we got the real right to vote and it rocked our boat
We've made it better for our kids and their kids
Right?
We closed our eyes and exhaled and said we finally did it
Then we lost Malcolm
Had we made it better
Next it was Martin
Was it really better?
We now have black pride
we've shot down all the lies
it's just me and you
We're black people
now we're beautiful
Malcolm and Martin have led the way
The Black Panthers are making us see better days
We're strong
we're tall
"I'm black and I'm proud"
was heard through the racial walls
I feel my blackness with every touch I lay
With every look from my eyes
With my talk and stride
Blackness is no longer a color but an attitude
It's who I am and now I hope
you feel my blackness.

(c) Cassandra Daniels